April 2007

It is the April 17 email from my mother that inspired me to start this blog. This episode was so stark, so incredibly sad and yet funny at the same time. It's one thing to logically know that people with Alzheimer's Disease simply are not in control of their words and actions. And yet, their irrational behaviors can seem so incredibly personal. I wanted to collect these experiences and share them so that others faced with parents, spouses, or siblings with Alzheimer's disease can get an idea of what to expect. My Nana is really not trying to make my mother suffer. It's just seems like it.

The April 26 and 29 emails demonstate two of the most common and frustrating aspects of Alzheimer's disease. People affected with this disorder become very prone to wander off and must be watched vigilantly. They also have a very unpredictable ability to recognize the people in their lives where sometimes they know exactly who someone is to them and other times they do not.

April 5, 2007
Nana had a good day today. But she seems to be having very vivid dreams that she confuses with reality. She does seem to know that someone will come every night to fix her dinner.

April 8, 2007
Yesterday S came to see Nana bearing a huge flowering plant. Unfortunately Nana did not remember who he was. But S said that she pronounced his name perfectly. Obviously I did not. But Nana must have remembered all the times that Barney talked to her about his son. At any rate it was nice to see S. Nana really liked him even though she could not remember who he was. We invited him to come to see us again.

April 14, 2007
Nana is very agitated tonight. She keeps saying that she needs to put the outside lights on because someone is coming to take me away. Every time I close the front door, she opens it again. I keep hoping that she will go to bed so that I can lock up and go to bed too.

Now Nana has just spent thirty minutes telling me that I must get out of her house. She does not like me. She is going to throw out my computer. For several days I was beginning to think that she was letting some of her anger go. I was mistaken. She is more angry now than she has been for a long time. If she stays this angry, I may need to move somewhere else. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

April 15, 2007
Nana seemed to be a little less angry today. But she did take down the towel bar in the bathroom again. This time M was not able to fix it.

April 16, 2007
Nana was more confused today than she usually is. She keeps saying that there are other people in the house besides the two of us. Tonight she went around turning out all the lights. I have been leaving several lights on at night so that she will not fall if it is too dark. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

April 17, 2007
Today I needed to leave the house before A2 arrived. In the past when this was necessary, Nana was OK. She was OK today, but Fluffy is not feeling well. First Nana gave her another container of wet food. Then she gave her some ice cream. The she gave her a whole pint of my sour cream. We are not sure about the cookies. Then she gave Fluffy half of the dinner that Amanda cooked for her.

When I came into the living room, I discovered that Nana had attacked my computer. The other night she threatened to through it away. She did not do that yet, but she did through the keyboard and the mouse on the floor. Then she turned off all the power. Then she slammed the door closed so that it locked. Then she even took my chair away. These things may not sound so terrible. But even moving a chair across the room is very, very difficult for me. On the good news side, when I got everything put back together, I was able to turn the computer back on again.

Oh yes, she also took the small blanket that I keep on the chair. I still have not found that.

April 20, 2007
Nana had a good day today. She got her hair done and then A took her out for dinner. A said that she was happy during dinner. She ate a yogurt and a banana when she got home. Now she has decided to sleep in her clothes, but she was happy about it.

This week has been pretty good for Nana. She is still confused, but she is more accepting of the situation.

April 26, 2007
On Monday night, A2 forgot to lock the studio door on her way home. At around midnight, Nana came to tell me that the door was not locked. I told her that I would check it before I went to bed. Nana often tells me that I need to fix something that really does not need my attention. About an hour later Nana came to tell me that the car door was unlocked. I have been leaving my car door unlocked lately because sometimes it is difficult to unlock. I knew if Nana knew that the door was unlocked, she must have been outside. If she was outside, then the front door to the studio must not be locked. So I went to check on the door. It was unlocked. So I locked it. On Tuesday when A2 came, I made sure that she knew how important it was to lock the studio door at all times. We were lucky this time that Nana came back into the house. We can’t always count on that happening.

April 29, 2007
On Friday afternoon C called me. Nana picked up her extension after we had said hello. He said “Hi Nana this is C.” She immediately said “I will let you talk with your mother.” Then she hung up. I was shocked to hear that she knew who he was, and that he was my son. Most of the time, she does not even know who I am. But later that afternoon when she went to get her hair done, she did not recognize the woman who has been painting her fingernails for years. So I guess that we are going one step forward, and several steps back. She was OK today.