January & February 2008

The daily emails have dwindled. It's amazing what can be adapted to. It's not that anything has improved. For example, naked 90 year old roams neighborhood at night - positively ordinary. The slow decline of my Nana continues, but the urgency about her condition appears to have abated. Unfortunately our family learned of more pressing medical matters. My Nana's youngest child, my uncle K, recently shared he has end stage renal failure. My Nana just turned 90, so her decline is somewhat acceptable, expected maybe. My uncle K though is far too young to be facing a central line and dialysis three times a week. I'm somewhat glad that my Nana has lost touch with reality. This would break her.

January 1
On Sunday night Nana was restless. Finally at 4:30 AM I thought that she had settled down, so I went to sleep. When M came in at 8:00 AM, she told me that Fluffy was vomiting all over the place. There was evidence that Nana had fed Fluffy lots of cookies and also egg salad. M cleaned everything up, gave Nana a shower because she had come into contact with Fluffy's illness, and then she gave Fluffy lots of water and ice cubes to chew on. She suggested that I not feed Fluffy her regular dinner until late in the day. Fluffy seems to have recovered, thank goodness.

Last night Nana went outside at 3:00 AM. When she came back inside, I went into the kitchen to close and lock the door again. That is when I noticed that the cellar door was open. The basement lights were on, and Nana's walker was by the door. I waited for her to come back upstairs, but she came in from the living room. So I got her to close the basement door, and I went back to bed. She came into my room at 4:30 AM and told me that I needed to go into the basement because her clothes were down there. I explained that I could not climb the stairs, but that A could check when she came to fix her breakfast.

When A arrived, Nana said that she could not find the quilt that she uses in her chair. Alice searched, but could not find it. I suggested that she try the porch because Nana had been out there. The quilt was not on the porch. A finally found the quilt outdoors on the side walk. She also found Nana's bathrobe, her blouse, and her sweater. A put those things in the washing machine. I was sorry that Nana was so confused, but I am glad that A could see some of the problems that we have each day.

Nana slept most of today. A had trouble waking her up tonight to eat her dinner. Once A left, Nana went back to sleep again. I hope that does not mean that she will be wandering around again tonight.

January 10
It has been several days since I have written because things have been rather quiet here. But today Nana was agitated again. She kept going out on the porch and leaving the door open. She also did something to the porch door so that it would not close. One time she left her walker in the doorway to keep the outside door open. When M came, she was able to get the door closed again.

On the good news side, R came tonight, and he was able to get Nana to play the piano for a while.

The house is quiet at the moment.

January 15
Tonight Nana was certain that Fluffy was not her dog, but a strange dog that had entered the house. For more than an hour I kept trying to convince her that Fluffy really was her dog. Then she wanted to wake her up to take her outside to go to the bathroom. I finally gave up trying to get her to leave the poor dog alone. Then she went into her room. Devoted Fluffy followed her. Ten minutes later Nana told me that SHE had put Fluffy outside, and now she would not come back inside. She said that I needed to get Fluffy to come into the house. I told her that I could not do anything, but that Fluffy would come back when she was ready. Nana just wears me out. I have worried for a long time that she might close the door so that Fluffy could not use her doggie door any more. Most days I do not have enough energy to walk to the office door to make sure that it is still open, let alone walk there every few hours to check it out. Maybe if M and A2 check it each day, it will be enough.

January 20
Today we went to A's house for R's birthday dinner. The temperature outside was heading for zero, but inside was all the warmth of a family gathering. A3 came down from Boston to help R celebrate. D greeted all the women with hugs and kisses.

Nana seemed to enjoy the party. She ate all her dinner, and seemed more comfortable with all the company this time. She just came into the living room to ask me if she should go back to bed. She did not seem confused tonight the way she often is after a party.

January 27
This week has been very difficult for Fluffy. Nana has been feeding her too many cookies. On Wednesday Fluffy came into the living room to show me her latest gift from Nana. It was a very large sandwich roll. When I went into the kitchen, my package of sandwich rolls was wide open. On Friday morning, M found a large bundle of Nana's clothes wrapped up on her bed. She also found that Fluffy had been sick on the floor. The bundle of clothes smelled like Fluffy. The bed was also soiled. M did a lot of laundry that day. A2 also did more laundry that night.

Tonight when A came, she cut a lot of the soil off Fluffy. Then she gave her a bath. Fluffy feels much better now. She even smells better.

Nana was very confused yesterday. When R2 called from North Carolina, she did not want to talk with her. She asked me to talk with her instead.

Nana seemed better when A came tonight.

February 6
This morning M told me that Nana has some teeth missing. She has removed a bridge with several teeth. We do not know if she has lost the bridge or hidden it. She does not even remember removing it.

All day long Fluffy follows Nana around. She settles down in whatever room Nana chooses. But at night lately she has been going to sleep in her cage. Maybe she is just tired and needs her rest.

February 10
Last night I found a dish full of egg salad and wheat thins on the floor in the kitchen. I got rid of it before Fluffy could finish it. Today Fluffy was sick again. I will not be ordering any more salads for Nana. Lately I have been hiding things like rolls and muffins. But in the past Nana has tried to feed poor Fluffy raw pasta. I can't hide everything. Maybe tomorrow she will find something to do.

February 17
Next Sunday Nana will be ninety. I suggested to A several times that she celebrate Nana’s birthday next Sunday and save my birthday for another day (Note: my mom & Nana have the same birthday. One of Nana's brother's also shared a birthday with them). Nana gets really angry if she has to share anything with me. She does not like to see me use my computer even though she has one of her own in her studio. She has forgotten that she once used it every day. She is angry when she remembers that I have a car and she does not. Once when R was leaving, after he hugged Nana, he gave me a hug. Nana was furious. She claimed that I was trying to steal her boyfriend. So the plan is that I will go out for lunch with my friends S and L. S is my massage therapist. L is someone that I once worked with. We get together three times a year to celebrate our birthdays. We always have a wonderful time. A will have a birthday dinner for Nana at her house.

Nana came into my room at two, three, and four this morning to ask me what time it was. So I sleep in the morning when M comes.

February 20
Last night I finally was able to get some sleep. Until this morning I had not seen M for three days. Each day when she comes, I fall asleep. Nana wanders around most of the night asking questions like "What time is it?" "What should I do next?" "When is someone coming?". I try to be patient, but it is difficult when I am so tired.

February 22
Nana and I were up all night again last night. But at four o'clock, when I thought that she had finally gone to bed, I heard her playing the piano. She played for several minutes longer than she usually does. She played the piano tonight too.