March 2008

The days and months are beginning to flow one into the other. There are peaks and valleys but the slow decline continues. I met recently with Anne Togher, who founded Toughers, an online resource for family caregivers. I spoke to her briefly about my Nana and my family. Of note, it is so easy for families and caregivers to cling to the good days. Unfortunately the good days are not signs of recovery. They are also not a good place to measure the baseline functioning of a person; however, it is common apparently for all families to cling to the good days, to think that knowing your name 1 day of 10 is somehow a sign that the memory is recovering. As with all things, there are peaks and valleys, but the trend is sadly down.

March 5
Nana and I were up all night last night. I finally fell asleep at 7:00 AM. An hour later, I awoke to find Nana in my room trying to take my walker. She said that she could not find hers. All during the night, she kept opening the kitchen door, and leaving it open. Then I would have to get up to close the door and lock it again.

During the day today, Nana peeled three bananas and put them back in the serving dish. She did not want to eat them, she just wanted to peel them.

Tonight when M came to fix her dinner, Nana was very confused. She kept talking about the people upstairs. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

March 7
Nana was up all night again. She kept coming into my room and trying to take my walker. When M arrived, she had trouble getting in the door because Nana had covered the floor with boxes and other things. M had to wash Nana's new white quilt again. This time she had spilled coffee on it.

But otherwise, A2 came back today and took Nana to the hair dresser. Nana called me Judy when she came home. I do not know if Nana was having a good day, or if A2 told her who I was when they came home. Either way, it was quite a surprise to me. Nana usually thinks that I am the hired help, or else a classmate who is trying to steal her boyfriend. Hearing her call me Judy was a nice change.

March 16
This evening Nana and I were sitting in the living room. She slept most of the time. She did speak with her friend R for a few moments when she called. About ten minutes later, I saw Nana remove her long pants and under pants. I asked he what she was doing. She said that she needed to go to the bathroom. I told her where to find the bathroom, and I suggested that she put her pants back on before she tried to walk.

Nana also lost her walker again today. I do not know where she put it, but she finally found it again late this evening.

Note: I found this story so completely funny and yet sad at the same time. I replied to my mom about it for more information and to see how she was holding up. My mom is (and has been for the last 2 years or so) on a waiting list for an apartment in a senior complex where her friend works. I also asked how she was moving in the queue as about a year ago she was 100 or so and more recently was up to about 20.
March 17
You are right. It would be funny if it were not so sad.

Everything is in a holding pattern right now. A was here tonight. She said that D was having a birthday party for four of us in two weeks. She has decided that Nana should not attend. She said that Nana did not like the long ride to and from D’s house. I am afraid that A does not like having to spend that much time with Nana.

My number is 17. At this point, seventeen people must die before there is an apartment for me. Up to now, people often found other places to live and took their names off the list. But S told me last week that they are looking for land to build more senior housing. In Westfield, that may take a while. All over Westfield people are buying old houses, tearing them down, and building McMansions. But with the real estate market in trouble, anything is possible.

March 26
A took Nana to Medemerge last night because she had been wheezing for a couple of days. She has pneumonia, but she had no fever. Today she says that she feels fine. But she has begun to take an antibiotic and a spray for her breathing. A3 (my cousin R's girlfriend) came to visit to check on Nana. She brought Piper (another loyal dog) with her. Nana always is happy to see Piper.

A3 told Nana that she looks fine. Nana is sleeping now after the excitement of visitors.

Note: So often it is something like pneumonia that causes people with Alzheimer's disease to die. It's good they caught this early.

March 29
Nana is feeling better each day. She had a slight fever last night, but Tylenol sent it back to normal. Today she had no fever. Tonight she did not want to take her medicine because she said that it tasted terrible. It may be difficult to get her to take the medicine for the rest of the days required, but we will do our best.

March 31
I spoke too soon. Yesterday afternoon Nana was playing the piano when I went to take a shower. Then she opened the bathroom door, told me that she was sick, and threw up all over the floor. She was sick several more times during the next few hours. A came to the rescue. The R and A3 came to check on Nana too. She slept until 6:00 AM. Then she woke me up to say that she was starving because no one had fed her for two days. So I gave her a yogurt. When M came at 8:00 AM she fixed Nana eggs and toast and Gatorade. The only medicine we gave her was Antivert. The pharmacist told A not to give her any more of the antibiotic. A plans to take her to see another doctor tomorrow.

R stopped by this afternoon and got Nana to eat a little bit of chicken noodle soup. At R’s suggestion we gave her another Antivert. We hope that she continues to feel better.