July 2007

My Nana continues her slow decline. There are days of lucidity interspersed with days where her knowledge of common things continues to deteriorate. I am so grateful for my mother's frequent updates and yet this process is so sad. Because my mom lives with Nana, she sees the ups and downs more intimately. You can hear (read) my mom's frustration that the other family members are less aware that my Nana will soon need, or already does need, round the clock supervision. These are difficult topics for families to discuss. It is selfish but I am relieved to live 1776 miles away.

July 4
M told us on Friday that she will no longer be able to come on weekends after Saturday. A came on Sunday and brought Nana a cruller and coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I was not here because I went to church for the first time in a long time. Nana told me later that A had come and spent some time talking with her. Time spent with her is more important to Nana than food right now. She can always find a banana or some yogurt if she is hungry.

Nana is sleeping a lot this week. She did not awaken me last night. But she must have been up some time during the night because the kitchen door was unlocked this morning. Thank goodness I do not have to worry about the living room door being open anymore. Nana complained at first when I locked that door and removed the key. But she seems to have accepted that it is necessary now. When I was a little girl, the house was never locked. No one needed to lock doors in the old days. But the world has changed, and so has this neighborhood. Our neighbors in the ranch house next door moved out in the middle of the night a couple of months ago. Even though there is a real estate sign in front of the house, no one has cut the grass, even in the front yard, all summer.

I put the fireworks on TV for Nana tonight. She used to really like watching the Fourth of July programs. But tonight she slept through most of it. I do not blame her. The music was not even very good.

July 13
A tried to take Nana out for dinner tonight after Nana went to the hair dresser. When they got to the restaurant, Nana said that she did not feel well. Once they got back in the car to come home, Nana began vomiting. She said that she was carsick. When they finally got home, Nana refused to get out of the car. She said that she was still sick. Finally A got her into the house, but only as far as the studio chair. I urged A to try to get her into bed where she would be more comfortable and also closer to the bathroom. Nana finally moved to the couch and refused to move any more. So A went home and Nana slept. At 11:00 I found that she had finally moved to her bed. Fluffy was asleep on the floor right next to the bed. Nana is asleep now so I hope that her car sickness is over.

July 14
Nana slept well last night. When A arrived today to fix her breakfast, Nana said that she was all better. She ate eggs and toast and coffee. She has been up and around all day. She also played the piano for a long time. She has not done that in weeks. Tonight when A2 came, she ate a good dinner too. We are all glad that she is feeling better.

July 17
On Monday Nana asked A2 to stay to talk with her while she ate dinner. A2 told me later that Nana’s conversation was logical and that ideas seemed to be clear in her mind.

For the past twelve years I have been going twice a week for therapy. Nana often plays the piano or the organ while I am gone. Sometimes she just sleeps. Today when I got home, she told me that she was upset about being in the house alone. She said that she did not know where I was, even though I told her as I was leaving that I was going out for therapy and that I would be back soon. Today was the first time that she expressed any concern about being alone in the house. Tonight she kept telling me that other people were in the house watching TV in her studio. There is no TV in her studio.

July 26
A2 said that Nana ate a good dinner tonight. Then she went to bed early.

Nana has been having trouble walking. Her sense of balance is not good. She is still refusing to use her walker. She did go out on the porch to get the mail. Then she could not decide what to do with it, so she left it in the kitchen.

July 30
It has been really hot and humid here. Yesterday I pinned my hair up to try to keep cooler. Nana noticed and said that my hair looked nice. So she can see more than she admits to seeing.

We had a thunder storms today where we had thunder for about 90 minutes before we ever saw rain. The thunder was very loud. Fluffy couldn’t find a place to hide where she felt safe. She finally hid next to my bed under a pillow that had fallen on a floor. It is quiet now and she is sleeping peacefully.

When A fixed breakfast for Nana yesterday, she told her that she would be back later to take her out for dinner. When I saw Nana an hour later, she had traded her clothes for a night gown. I had trouble convincing her to get dressed again. But she finally got dressed again and she had a nice time out with A. Nana really needs someone with her all that time. Twice when I have gone out for therapy lately, she has been upset about being alone when I came home.