The signs are getting stronger that Nana will need full time care and supervision soon. It is difficult to understand dementia. The people dealing with it keep trying to find the logic behind the words or actions when there simply is none. I was struck, as I was putting these posts today, at how similar the content of my mother's emails is to some blogs I read written by new mothers. The focus is on eating, grooming, and sleep. I was struck also by how lucky we are to have these wonderful women A2 and M who come and care for my Nana each day. While the grandchildren (like me) of my Nana have scattered across the country, many of her friends and the friends of her children have remained close. Some of these friends of the family (e.g. J) who will come to help keep the house going. I do not know how my family would cope without this community.
September 1, 2007
Nana and I both slept well for two nights. Tuesday night no one slept. Late that night Nana was obsessed with finding her mother. Nothing I said would convince her to go to bed. She kept wandering around the house. Around four AM I heard her upstairs. When M came in the morning, I asked her to check on lights upstairs. It was dark when Nana went up there, so she must have turned on some lights. M found lights on in every room. She also found the ceiling fan running. In each room she found some of Nana’s clothes on the floor. I do no know what Nana was really doing upstairs, but I am thankful that she made it up and down again safely.
Tonight I made some soup. After I ate, I put the pan in the sink to wash. I left the kitchen for a few minutes. When I came back, the pan was gone. I finally found it on the floor in the living room. Nana does not know why she put it there.
M will be away for the three day weekend. She will be back on Tuesday. A2 is due back on Tuesday night. I miss them both when they are not here.
September 5, 2007
A2 is back from vacation. M was wonderful while she was gone, but taking care of Nana plus the house is just too much for one person. It was great that both of them were here today.
The bad news is that Hurricane Felix hit Nicaragua head on. A2 and M are both from Nicaragua. One of A2’s daughters is there now visiting her grandfather. A2 hopes to contact her daughter tonight.
Nana was glad to see A2 tonight. Nana asked her for food as soon as she arrived, even though she came early. But Nana is well fed every day. In fact some of her long pants are too small for her now. But she feels fine. She just can’t remember things.
September 6, 2007
Last night Nana and I stayed up all night. Nana was agitated about one thing after another. Finally at 5:30 AM I thought that she had finally decided to go to bed. Fifteen minutes later I gave up and let myself fall asleep. When I awoke at 9:30 AM, the door to the kitchen was open, so obviously Nana had not stayed in bed. When M came in at 10:00, she could not find Nana. She looked upstairs because she had found her there in the past. She was not upstairs. Poor Fluffy was locked in her cage. Nana had even put a chair in front of the door so that she could not get out. M checked the basement because the door was open. Nana was not there either. So I asked her to look outside. She did not come back for a very long time. I was really getting worried when I heard M’s voice. She had found Nana in the back yard lying on the ground by J’s camper. M managed to get her up and on to the porch. Nana sat on the bench while M went to get the walker. Nana did not seem to have any visible injuries. She complained that her back hurt. M noticed later that Nana had one ankle that was a bit swollen. After breakfast, M helped Nana get back to bed. She slept most of the day. When M came back to fix Nana’s dinner, Nana did not eat much. Then she went back to sleep again.
After Nana was found this morning, I called A to let her know what happened. There are no easy answers about what to do next. But I fear that since Nana has left the house once, she may do it again. Thank goodness she went into the back yard. L Avenue is very busy most of the day.
September 8, 2007
Nana slept all day yesterday. Then she slept all night. I stayed awake all night to make sure that she did not go outside again. This morning when M came, Nana said that she was fine. M gave her a shower. Then Nana ate a good breakfast. She slept again until A2 came to take her to the hair dresser. When she came home, she ate a good dinner and then went to sleep again. Tonight I hope to catch up on some sleep. A is going to look for some kind of alarm for the kitchen door. We agree that it would not be safe to lock all the doors in case of an emergency.
September 13, 2007
M comes from 8:00 to 10:00 AM now. Yesterday when she arrived she told me that the kitchen door was open, but Nana was in the house. I was still awake at 4:30 AM and the kitchen door was closed and locked then. So Nana must have gotten up after that. That evening I went out for therapy while A2 was here. When I came home, she told me that Nana did not eat dinner. She kept saying that she wanted to sleep. She usually wants to eat all the time. But the next morning she was fine. M said that she ate breakfast as usual. Wednesday night when I got home, A2 told me that Nana had a lot of energy that evening. She ate her dinner and then decided that she wanted a shower. Usually it takes a while for M to talk her into taking a shower.
A2 also put all clean sheets and blankets on Nana’s bed. Then she did three loads of laundry. The third load was a heavy blanket. She told me that the washing machine would not work. I thought that she had just blown a fuse again. But then I heard the dryer going. So I feared that my old Maytag had finally failed. I told A2 that I would look at it after I had a chance to rest. I am always exhausted when I first come home. Later I was able to get the old machine started again. The blanket had become unbalanced. Thank goodness I was able to get the machine going again. I brought that Maytag up from West Virginia in 1971. It has NEVER needed service. If it ever does give up the ghost, the whole laundry will have to come apart to get the machine out.
September 15, 2007
This morning when I awoke at 7:30 AM, the kitchen door was wide open. Several of my things had been moved or taken apart. So Nana must have had a busy night. I was still awake until 4:00 AM, so it must have been after that time. Maybe M is right. She said this morning that Nana really needed someone to watch her all the time. So far we have been lucky that Nana has not gone into the street. A said that she would try to find an alarm for the kitchen door. But at least we have cooler weather now. Maybe the change of seasons will help.
September 16, 2007
The kitchen door was closed today when I awoke. It is the first time in a long time that it was closed in the morning. Nana has slept most of the day. A2 tried to get her to play the piano, but she did not want to get up. She just wanted to sleep. But A2 did say that she ate her dinner. I tried to get her interested in the television this afternoon and again tonight. One PBS station is fund raising, so they have lots of music programs available. But Nana just went back to sleep again. I hope that does not mean that she will wander around during the wee hours of the night. I am hoping to get to church tomorrow. I have not been able to go because of the heat for most of the summer. But tonight it is really cool. I was even able to turn both air conditioners off this evening. It certainly is quiet all of a sudden.
September 20, 2007
Yesterday Nana had a good day. When A2 arrived to cook Nana's dinner, Nana insisted that they go out for dinner instead. So A2 took her out. When they arrived home several hours later, A2 told me that she took Nana to the Queen City Diner. Nana ate a hamburger and some iced tea. Then A2 took her to a park where they sat on a bench to watch the river and the sunset. After A2 went home, Nana was a bit restless and wandered around a while. Today Nana was very confused. But she did eat her dinner when A2 came. Since then she has slept most of the time.
September 23, 2007
Nana spent several hours this afternoon trying to find her walker. I did not know where she put it. She finally found it after A2 came tonight to fix her dinner.
A2 did not know where it was either. After dinner, A2 spent some time on the porch fixing the plants. Nana went out there with her. She seemed very interested in what A2 was doing.
Once while Nana was still looking for her walker, she came into the living room with four sacred music booklets and her reading glasses. She told me that it was her lunch. When I told her that it was music instead, she left the room and came back wearing her night gown instead of her clothes. So today was a very mixed day.
September 27, 2007
The lights went out on the TV, the fish tanks, the porch light, and the outside lights. J has been here two hours and he can't find the fuse causing the problem.
I also asked J if he knew why S has not been here for six weeks. He said that he did not know.
Nana has been confused and agitated today. I do not know why.
J just came up to tell me that he can't find the problem. I asked if he could rig up an extension cord so that we could at least watch TV tonight, and we could keep the fish alive.
September 29, 2007
A found an electrician to get our lights back on Thursday. He will also work on a plan to switch us to circuit breakers. A also suggested that the new board be put upstairs so that no one needs to go into the basement to flip a switch. In case of more basement flooding, having the board upstairs makes sense.
I have not seen Nana this evening. A lady from my church took me for a regular visit to Medemerge to get my medication for thyroid. It was my first experience with a Physician's Assistant. The young man I saw was knowledgeable and helpful. He even gave me some samples of Provigil. The last time I had to pay for it myself, it cost me $450.00 for a month's supply. So I was thrilled to receive some samples. It was not until I looked at my new Rx's, that I realized that the man I saw was not a doctor, but a PA. For a regular, non urgent visit, a PA makes sense. After I got home, I slept for six hours. But Nana was fine this morning. She got her hair done this afternoon. And A2 fixed her dinner tonight.
